Thursday, May 16, 2024

What Nonsense!

limerick is a form of verse that appeared in England in the early years of the 18th century. Traditionally it used to be a  humorous drinking song often with obscene verses. It is written in five-line with a strict rhyme scheme of AABBA, in which the first, second and fifth line rhyme, while the third and fourth lines are shorter and share a different rhyme.[4]

It was popularized by Edward Lear in the 19th century, although he did not use the term. 


Limericks written by Lear


A few examples from a crazy collection of comic verse, loony limericks and rhyming riddles.

An epicure, dining at Crewe,
Found quite a large mouse in his stew;
Said the waiter, "Don't shout
And wave it about,
Or the rest will be wanting one, too!"

*************************

There was a young lady of Spain
Who was dreadfully sick in a train,
Not once, but again
And again and again
And again and again and again.

************************

There was an old person of Fratton
Who would go to church with his hat on.
"If I wake up," he said,
"With my hat on my head,
I shall know that it hasn't been sat on."

************************

Skewe-wiff!

Anon

A railway official of Skewe
Met an engine one day that he knew.
Though he smiled and he bowed,
That engine was proud;
It cut him - it cut him in two!

************************

There was a young man of Devizes,
Whose ears were of different sizes;
One was quite small,
And of no use at all,
But the other was huge and won prizes.

************************

An elephant born in Tibet,
One day in its cage wouldn't get.
So its keeper stood near
Stuck a hose in its ear,
And invented the first Jumbo Jet.

**********************

The Quiet Old Man by Edward Lear

There was an Old Man who said, "Hush!
I perceive a young bird in this bush!"
When they said, "Is it small?"
He replied, "Not at all!
It is four times as big as the bush!"

***********************

The Bearded Old Man by Edward Lear

There was an Old Man with a beard,
Who said, "It is just as I feared! -
Two Owls and a Hen,
Four Larks and a Wren,
Have all built their nests in my beard!"

***********************
Although at the limericks of Lear
We may be tempted to sneer
We should never forget
That we owe him a debt
For his work as a pioneer


FUNNY OR NOT?

I know an old owl named Boo, 
Every night he yelled "Hoo," 
Once a kid walked by, 
And started to cry, 
And yelled "I don't have a clue!"

There once was a young boy named Nick 
Who by chance was always being kicked 
He tried not to fight 
For he was smart, kind and bright 
So he learned how to run really quick

There once was this guy named Stan
Who had some trouble being a man
He wore a dress and high heels
And drove a Chevrolet with pink wheels
And soon Stan became a tran

A fellow jumped off a high wall 
And had a most terrible fall 
He went back to bed 
With a bump on his head 
That's why you don't jump off a wall 

THERE ONCE WAS A FARMER FROM LEEDS
WHO SWALLOWED A PACKET OF SEEDS
IT SOON CAME TO PASS
HE WAS COVERED WITH GRASS
BUT HAS ALL THE TOMATOES HE NEEDS

There once was a boy named Dan, 
who wanted to fry in a pan. 
He tried and he tried, 
and eventually died, 
that weird little boy named Dan.

There once was a child in Spain 
Who loved to play in the rain 
One day he tripped 
And broke his hip 
Now he is in serious pain.

A painter, who lived in Great Britain,
Interrupted two girls with their knittin'
He said, with a sigh,
"That park bench--well I
Just painted it, right where you're sittin.'"


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